Before I get started on this, I want to give a shout out to everyone who offered a kind word, funds to help with travel expenses, meals for Mama and Chris, and hugs. Even those hugs that came across the interwebs!
Tragedy struck my family Monday, September 23, 2013.
My mother, after not hearing from my step-father over the weekend, tried to contact him. Walley, being a long-distance truck driver, usually spoke to my mother everyday or every other day. When she could not locate him, she contacted his company. They informed her that he missed dropping his load Friday. Now, anyone that knows Walley knows that he does not miss dropping or picking up loads. He had been late dropping or picking up, but never a no-show. This is when my mother knew something horrible was wrong.
About 5:30 pm, the Garden City Police and Chaplain visited Mama to give the news. Walley was found in the sleeper section of his truck in Klamath Falls, Oregon.
Backtracking, when Mama last spoke to Walley he was not feeling well and contributed it to heartburn from a meatball sub he had eaten earlier that night. However, he would not share where exactly he was located. Mama thinks he knew she would call someone to check on him. Later that day, he texted a friend to let him know he was feeling better but coughing up some blood. The text information we did not get until after the friend was contacted Monday in search of Walley.
Monday evening, I began making arrangements to leave Tuesday to be with my mother in Savannah.
Upon arrival, I learn the timeline of things that happened: the text, him not feeling well, etc. Mama had already been informed by someone (still not sure who) that Walley would be kept in Oregon for an autopsy. Once Oregon completed the autopsy, he would need to be embalmed at a funeral home to cross state lines, and then he would be flown to Arkansas where his mother's family has a cemetery plot. Each day I was there, we would try to get in touch with Oregon and would never hear back from anyone in the state medical examiner's office. His transportation kept being put off and put off. By Thursday, I finally spoke with the funeral home in Arkansas. They were informed by the funeral home in Oregon that the flight could not be booked until Monday and that Arkansas would not be receiving his body until Monday or Tuesday of the following week.
At this point Mama is going crazy sitting in the house fielding phone calls from everyone every five minutes and a house full of people in and out. I convince her to come back to Atlanta with me to visit with Ian and Catherine and to give herself some space to breathe. We arrive in Atlanta late Friday evening.
The following day I let Mama sleep in for a while. Ian had a soccer game, and Mark needed to see his mama, Miss Mary. Later that day we all met up with friends Suzy and Jaime to get some lunch. At lunch I receive a phone call from Walley's sister. The Arkansas funeral home has now received information from Oregon that Walley will not arrive until Tuesday or Wednesday. Of course this puts Mama over the deep end. She needs closure. She needs to mourn the loss and say goodbye to her husband. At this point, no one from the family has spoken with the funeral home that has Walley in Oregon. I take it upon myself to call Arkansas and ask for that information. When I call the funeral home in Arkansas, Gayla says she has been on the phone with them for several days trying to get Walley home. On her last call with them, she says she argued with whomever she spoke with about getting him to Arkansas.
I call Eternal Hills Funeral Home in Klamath Falls, Oregon. I spoke with a pleasant young man named Zach. He assured me that Walley was booked for a flight out of Portland Tuesday morning and would be arriving in Arkansas Tuesday evening. He explained that since Walley was a deceased body that would be traveling in the luggage compartment, he is considered commercial shipping. He then explained that none of the airlines do commercial shipping over the weekends and all of the Monday flights were booked. I have not been able to confirm this information. At this point, we plan to leave from Atlanta Monday morning to arrive in Arkansas that evening. Mama and Walley's sister would be able to meet with the funeral home to make any arrangements before he arrives Tuesday evening. We would have the visitation Wednesday and funeral Thursday.
We leave Atlanta right before noon Monday morning. Right as we get into Alabama on I-20 I receive a phone call from Eternal Hills needing information for Walley's death certificate. After speaking with Cheryl about the information, I ask to confirm his arrival into Arkansas. I was promptly forwarded to Tim, who informed me that Walley's flight would be leaving Oregon THURSDAY! WTF! Keeping myself composed yet firm, I asked him why all the feet dragging. He says that the Arkansas funeral home said we did not care when the services were. He also said the ticket was cheaper Thursday. WTF! At this point, I had already spoken with the Arkansas funeral home several times over the last few days and knew they had been calling Oregon over and over again wanting to know when Walley would be arriving. I quickly told Tim that he was misinformed or misunderstood, and that Walley needed to be in Arkansas immediately. We had a wife, a sister, children, and a mother that could not start healing until they were able to say goodbye. His body should have already been in Arkansas. Needless to say, Tim miraculously found a flight out of Portland MONDAY. Really? And you couldn't do this before I showed my butt?
A big hug goes out to Traci Garland who caravaned with us to Arkansas. For the Monday trip it was Chris and I and Mama and Traci. Sandy and Steve brought Jake up Tuesday.
Mama, Renee (Walley's sister) and I met with the funeral director in Arkansas Tuesday morning. He quickly let us know that his driver already had Walley and was in route to the funeral home. He apologized profusely for the funeral home in Oregon. It was then that we find out that Eternal Hills became upset that Bryan Funeral Home (Arkansas) would not purchase a casket for Walley in Oregon. Bryan FH explained to them that the family needs to pick out a casket in person. It was not a decision that needed to be made 2,000 miles away.
The visitation occurred Wednesday evening and the funeral Thursday morning, almost two weeks after his death. Let me say here, a family should never have to wait this long to say goodbye. Healing can only start once we say goodbye. We all went through the gambit of emotions. It wasn't until after the funeral that we find out that Walley was never autopsied. WHAT?? Why did we have to wait so long?? No wonder no one from the Oregon State Medical Examiner's office returned my calls. They had no idea who I was talking about. Now it looks like this Oregon funeral home held his body hostage because they were not going to make any money from it. Now, here is the kicker, they billed Mama more than the funeral home in Arkansas! The funeral home in Arkansas has now filled a complaint with the funeral board in Oregon, and they are disputing the charges on Mama's behalf. At this point, we do not know when he died or why he died. And we will never know.
I spent the last two weeks watching a son and a wife grieve the loss of a father and husband. Yes, he was Chris' father. Chris has more memories of Walley than he does our Daddy. He was only 8 when Daddy had his stroke. Walley loved the three of us like we were his own. He was our father. With Mark's dad gone and my dad gone, Walley was the only grandfather Ian ever knew. He was the only steady grandfather in Jake and Shelby's lives. I spoke with my niece Shelby several times and on each occasion she would break down crying for her Grandpa Walley. And even though Catherine has grandpa Jackson and grandpa Steinberg, no one will ever replace Grandpa Walley in her eyes. At the funeral I watched a son and daughters, a wife, a sister, a mother, a grandchild, a niece and a nephew bury a father, husband, brother, son, grandpa, and uncle, at the young age of 49.
We love you, Walley. You will be greatly missed.
http://www.bryanfh.com/obituaries/Walley-Neal/
Tragedy struck my family Monday, September 23, 2013.
My mother, after not hearing from my step-father over the weekend, tried to contact him. Walley, being a long-distance truck driver, usually spoke to my mother everyday or every other day. When she could not locate him, she contacted his company. They informed her that he missed dropping his load Friday. Now, anyone that knows Walley knows that he does not miss dropping or picking up loads. He had been late dropping or picking up, but never a no-show. This is when my mother knew something horrible was wrong.
About 5:30 pm, the Garden City Police and Chaplain visited Mama to give the news. Walley was found in the sleeper section of his truck in Klamath Falls, Oregon.
Backtracking, when Mama last spoke to Walley he was not feeling well and contributed it to heartburn from a meatball sub he had eaten earlier that night. However, he would not share where exactly he was located. Mama thinks he knew she would call someone to check on him. Later that day, he texted a friend to let him know he was feeling better but coughing up some blood. The text information we did not get until after the friend was contacted Monday in search of Walley.
Monday evening, I began making arrangements to leave Tuesday to be with my mother in Savannah.
Upon arrival, I learn the timeline of things that happened: the text, him not feeling well, etc. Mama had already been informed by someone (still not sure who) that Walley would be kept in Oregon for an autopsy. Once Oregon completed the autopsy, he would need to be embalmed at a funeral home to cross state lines, and then he would be flown to Arkansas where his mother's family has a cemetery plot. Each day I was there, we would try to get in touch with Oregon and would never hear back from anyone in the state medical examiner's office. His transportation kept being put off and put off. By Thursday, I finally spoke with the funeral home in Arkansas. They were informed by the funeral home in Oregon that the flight could not be booked until Monday and that Arkansas would not be receiving his body until Monday or Tuesday of the following week.
At this point Mama is going crazy sitting in the house fielding phone calls from everyone every five minutes and a house full of people in and out. I convince her to come back to Atlanta with me to visit with Ian and Catherine and to give herself some space to breathe. We arrive in Atlanta late Friday evening.
The following day I let Mama sleep in for a while. Ian had a soccer game, and Mark needed to see his mama, Miss Mary. Later that day we all met up with friends Suzy and Jaime to get some lunch. At lunch I receive a phone call from Walley's sister. The Arkansas funeral home has now received information from Oregon that Walley will not arrive until Tuesday or Wednesday. Of course this puts Mama over the deep end. She needs closure. She needs to mourn the loss and say goodbye to her husband. At this point, no one from the family has spoken with the funeral home that has Walley in Oregon. I take it upon myself to call Arkansas and ask for that information. When I call the funeral home in Arkansas, Gayla says she has been on the phone with them for several days trying to get Walley home. On her last call with them, she says she argued with whomever she spoke with about getting him to Arkansas.
I call Eternal Hills Funeral Home in Klamath Falls, Oregon. I spoke with a pleasant young man named Zach. He assured me that Walley was booked for a flight out of Portland Tuesday morning and would be arriving in Arkansas Tuesday evening. He explained that since Walley was a deceased body that would be traveling in the luggage compartment, he is considered commercial shipping. He then explained that none of the airlines do commercial shipping over the weekends and all of the Monday flights were booked. I have not been able to confirm this information. At this point, we plan to leave from Atlanta Monday morning to arrive in Arkansas that evening. Mama and Walley's sister would be able to meet with the funeral home to make any arrangements before he arrives Tuesday evening. We would have the visitation Wednesday and funeral Thursday.
We leave Atlanta right before noon Monday morning. Right as we get into Alabama on I-20 I receive a phone call from Eternal Hills needing information for Walley's death certificate. After speaking with Cheryl about the information, I ask to confirm his arrival into Arkansas. I was promptly forwarded to Tim, who informed me that Walley's flight would be leaving Oregon THURSDAY! WTF! Keeping myself composed yet firm, I asked him why all the feet dragging. He says that the Arkansas funeral home said we did not care when the services were. He also said the ticket was cheaper Thursday. WTF! At this point, I had already spoken with the Arkansas funeral home several times over the last few days and knew they had been calling Oregon over and over again wanting to know when Walley would be arriving. I quickly told Tim that he was misinformed or misunderstood, and that Walley needed to be in Arkansas immediately. We had a wife, a sister, children, and a mother that could not start healing until they were able to say goodbye. His body should have already been in Arkansas. Needless to say, Tim miraculously found a flight out of Portland MONDAY. Really? And you couldn't do this before I showed my butt?
A big hug goes out to Traci Garland who caravaned with us to Arkansas. For the Monday trip it was Chris and I and Mama and Traci. Sandy and Steve brought Jake up Tuesday.
Mama, Renee (Walley's sister) and I met with the funeral director in Arkansas Tuesday morning. He quickly let us know that his driver already had Walley and was in route to the funeral home. He apologized profusely for the funeral home in Oregon. It was then that we find out that Eternal Hills became upset that Bryan Funeral Home (Arkansas) would not purchase a casket for Walley in Oregon. Bryan FH explained to them that the family needs to pick out a casket in person. It was not a decision that needed to be made 2,000 miles away.
The visitation occurred Wednesday evening and the funeral Thursday morning, almost two weeks after his death. Let me say here, a family should never have to wait this long to say goodbye. Healing can only start once we say goodbye. We all went through the gambit of emotions. It wasn't until after the funeral that we find out that Walley was never autopsied. WHAT?? Why did we have to wait so long?? No wonder no one from the Oregon State Medical Examiner's office returned my calls. They had no idea who I was talking about. Now it looks like this Oregon funeral home held his body hostage because they were not going to make any money from it. Now, here is the kicker, they billed Mama more than the funeral home in Arkansas! The funeral home in Arkansas has now filled a complaint with the funeral board in Oregon, and they are disputing the charges on Mama's behalf. At this point, we do not know when he died or why he died. And we will never know.
I spent the last two weeks watching a son and a wife grieve the loss of a father and husband. Yes, he was Chris' father. Chris has more memories of Walley than he does our Daddy. He was only 8 when Daddy had his stroke. Walley loved the three of us like we were his own. He was our father. With Mark's dad gone and my dad gone, Walley was the only grandfather Ian ever knew. He was the only steady grandfather in Jake and Shelby's lives. I spoke with my niece Shelby several times and on each occasion she would break down crying for her Grandpa Walley. And even though Catherine has grandpa Jackson and grandpa Steinberg, no one will ever replace Grandpa Walley in her eyes. At the funeral I watched a son and daughters, a wife, a sister, a mother, a grandchild, a niece and a nephew bury a father, husband, brother, son, grandpa, and uncle, at the young age of 49.
We love you, Walley. You will be greatly missed.
http://www.bryanfh.com/obituaries/Walley-Neal/
